Will you blame.... [Archive]

Lord_Angelus

25-07-2006, 09:45 PM

Your wife if she can not give birth to a baby or have promblem with having sex?

I was seeing my life story just now. and I was thinking why do the guy want to blame the wife when the wife can't give baby or have sex....

wyvern

25-07-2006, 09:52 PM

I didn't watch the programe just now. But I am just curious about this. Shouldn't this issue be communicated before committing into marriage...?

If it happens to be after marriage, then I guess both the couple will be having a hard time accepting this reality at the initial stage. But subsequently, they will still find a solution to this. Since medical science is so advance. There shouldn't be a big issue getting fertile again or even a test tube baby... :)

Personally, I don't believe in 'blaming'. Its just an excuse to shift the problem to another person. Saying "this is not my problem". More positively, sit down, face this together, accept this fact and lets find a solution to this problem. Saying this maybe easy. But I guess it needs time... :)

Miracle

25-07-2006, 10:11 PM

Personally I don't think I will blame my wife for not being able to conceive. Marriage isn't all about having babies.

Medical science is so advance but cost is one problem. The other problem is the succes isn't 100% also.

I don't think it's really anyone's fault. Women always get blamed becaused they are the weaker sex. I still remember in the olden days women are blame for giving birth to girls, but the fact is that the problem lies with the men due to the Y chromosomes. :)

LooK

25-07-2006, 10:23 PM

No baby.. no prob! :)
No sex... BIG prob!!

Guess tis wil affect if no sex!! Its human nature especialli male! ;) but i guess through counsellin.. the prob can b solve! :)

nagamisan

25-07-2006, 10:29 PM

No baby = look for adoption
No sex = counselling should help

But i saw 1 ep on Oprah that there are actually people who got married but have a sexless life.... No kidding!~~ :o

Koo

25-07-2006, 10:39 PM

My second aunt has problem give birth to a baby after many years of trying, her family decided to "buy/adopt" a China girl. I remembered she told me the cost is around S$30,000 as many things like travel/colthing/food/adoptation/etc fees to the parents of the girl.

Now there are people who use others as "womb for their baby like a case of a grandmother "borrowing" her womb to her daughter and son-in-law just so they can have a baby. :beg:

hibiki

25-07-2006, 10:52 PM

hmmm if like that i think been single is much more better :D

[soundwave]

25-07-2006, 10:56 PM

Personally, I feel that when one gets married, its a commitment and promise to the other person. A person to rely on, to listen and understand. The other party will be your best friend, someone you give your heart to 100%. Any other things are secondary.

xiaojun

25-07-2006, 10:58 PM

having marriages that hab no sex life need alot of encouragement thou...
but of cos.. sex is still not a very big issue in a marriage.. if hab of cos gd.. if dun hab.. its another unique level..

back to topic.. i miss tat show!! omg... i so looking forward to it.. damn the exam... liew~~ :cry:

if i am the lady.. i will tell my fiance b4 hand.. cos.. it will drag down 2 person... n is unfair to him to commit into a marriage that has no sex life. unless his willing to sacrifice n realli love me.. =D>

piglet

25-07-2006, 11:43 PM

I think is best that the couple go for a check up first before marriage, so that in the event that either party cannot give birth after marraige, no one is to be blame and solutions can be made as well.

Dun wait till after marriage then realised that either party cannot give birth then try to push the fault around, this is no use and will only make the matter worst. And for some cases, the guy side,(dun get offended)the in-law will put the blame on the the gal if after marriage for so long and still no 'egg' is produced.

To me, i find no one is to be blame, just need two way communication and there will be no problem which cannot be sloved.

Hades

25-07-2006, 11:59 PM

No sex = no life

Dun blame the husband if he goes out "tao chia" :laugh:

Miracle

26-07-2006, 12:01 AM

Dun blame the husband if he goes out "tao chia" :laugh:

Where can say till like that... [-X

Must say, "家里不开饭，不代表我不可以出外打包！！" =))

It's never 偷吃. :D

KiraDude

26-07-2006, 12:54 AM

No baby.. no prob! :)
No sex... BIG prob!!

Guess tis wil affect if no sex!! Its human nature especialli male! ;) but i guess through counsellin.. the prob can b solve! :)

hax3

Agreed ! men all itchy for SEX sia ! =))

xiaojun

26-07-2006, 01:17 AM

here r all the tiko pek pek~ haha~ :x

Miracle

26-07-2006, 01:22 AM

here r all the tiko pek pek~ haha~ :x

Don't know why suddenly all turn to sex only. Maybe too late liao all cannot think. :laugh:

The main issue here which was on the show was wife being unable to conceive. :)

At least there's about five decent posts out of so many. =))

starscream

26-07-2006, 02:48 AM

When one is married, perhaps his / her views might change.

When a married person faces the situation himself / herself personally, perhaps the behaviour might differ.

It is one thing to comment and quite another to live through it yourself.

The frustration, trauma and pressure is not easy to deal facing it on a daily basis. Most people marry so that they can form a family or enjoy a blessed union.

Just my 2 cents.

meow

26-07-2006, 09:04 AM

can I know under what situation a girl cannot have sex?
this puzzle me....

how does a girl know that she cant have sex if she & her bf didnt try it out before marriage...
but if they really didnt try out, after married, the first night then find out that cant have sex, it's no body's fault....

marriage is a union of 2 people not only physically but also spiritually....you married your partner not solely for sex right but you wanna stay on together & the commitment you have promised each other in the marriage vow.

if the husband blame his wife for unable to conceive or having sex....he's not loving her enough....
he must understand that if he is under stress, his wife's stress is double....

so be a man, undertake what you have committed....

give the man a Tiger :D

Keoni

26-07-2006, 09:17 AM

Where can say till like that... [-X

Must say, "家里不开饭，不代表我不可以出外打包！！" =))

It's never 偷吃. :D

偷吃要抹嘴巴hehehe

kazuki

26-07-2006, 10:37 AM

Actually i have tot of saying this IF I EVER can get married and have a child.

"Kid, i have to tell u this. If i have a choice, i will want your mum more than u. I love her more than i can love u."

True, your spouses will get old, turn ugly, saggy eventually. But hey! U chose him/her not just coz of his/her looks right?! Could be other aspects like money, character, prospects or charms. Be with there for him/her. Remember u made a vow to him/her at the church that u will be with him/her irregardless of wealth and health for the rest of your life? Fulfil it and cherish it...

Marky

26-07-2006, 10:46 AM

True, your spouses will get old, turn ugly, saggy eventually. But hey! U chose him/her not just coz of his/her looks right?! Could be other aspects like money, character, prospects or charms. Be with there for him/her. Remember u made a vow to him/her at the church that u will be with him/her irregardless of wealth and health for the rest of your life? Fulfil it and cherish it...

Still got regardless of health and wealth in that vow..

But most ppl just say for the sake of saying cos its part of the marriage vows.. never really put it to heart. after a few yrs down they forget and luan lai already..

jdelpiero

26-07-2006, 10:55 AM

can I know under what situation a girl cannot have sex?
this puzzle me....

Vaginismus.

the description may not be suitable to be posted here..

so i'll just put up the link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus

kazuki

26-07-2006, 10:57 AM

sigh....
Sad to say now ppl have no idea what they want. They are more interested in "Instant love". Today i like u, tmr i dun like u...:(
Why marry or have a kid when u cant promise to take care of them.

U are only wasting yours and hers time, money and effort. Worse cases might result in deaths or mental problems. Why then???:(

Marky

26-07-2006, 11:16 AM

Vaginismus.

the description may not be suitable to be posted here..

so i'll just put up the link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus

Wow... really never heard of this b4.. till now..

Post no. 1000!!!

Lord_Angelus

26-07-2006, 11:25 AM

In the My life story the show, just shows that the wife got something like Vaginismus. And both side are teachers and they want kids. The Man got piss off becuase the wife can not have sex with him or have kids. So in the middle, the man said that the wife why can not have sex with him becuase she do not love him...

ok from this part on it was very very weird and dumb like hell!

So the guy want to marry for sex only?

It said that this tv show is real story...

meow

26-07-2006, 01:02 PM

sheldon

26-07-2006, 03:52 PM

one lesson i'm beginning to learn about media is not to trust in it in the first place. be it newspapers, television, so called 'True Story' made into a movie/tv series... i've learned that all these media needs to sensationalize quite abit in order for people to fund the production costs... so in the end, the story you see/head/read may not be even close to the original conditions/events...

cubeball

26-07-2006, 04:15 PM

Maybe there's more than meets the eye...... but if it's true i thk she is better off w/o him.....

Jinxy

27-07-2006, 09:14 AM

(A slightly OT story...)

Have you read about a couple, married, both are in their mid 30's, trying to have a child for 8 years, but did not know anything about sex?

Yes, it happened.

Apparently they are both brought up by strict Christian families and know nothing about sex education. They are probably home-schooled too, since there's bound to be sex education in all schools. It sounds ridiculous to me because if their parents gave birth to them, why didn't they at least "teach" them?

Hmm. /end.