meow
03-08-2005, 02:33 PM
The Way Children See Things!
> > >
> > > NUDITY
> > > I was driving with my three young children one warm
> > > summer evening when
> > > a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
> > > waved. She was stark
> > > naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
> > > 5-year-old shout from
> > > the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat
> > > belt!
> > >
> > > HONESTY
> > > My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the
> > > bathroom to tell me he'd
> > > dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it
> > > out and threw it in
> > > the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a
> > > moment, then ran to my
> > > bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it
> > > up and said with a
> > > charming little smile, "We better throw this one out
> > > too then, 'cause it
> > > fell in the toilet a few days ago.
> > >
> > > KETCHUP
> > > A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come
> > > out of the jar.
> > > During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
> > > daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the
> > > child said to her
> > > mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the
> > > phone to talk to you
> > > right now. She's hitting the bottle."
> > >
> > > MORE NUDITY
> > > A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
> > > in the women's
> > > locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
> > > into shrieks, with
> > > ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The
> > > little boy watched in
> > > amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't
> > > you ever seen a
> > > little boy before?"
> > >
> > > ELDERLY
> > > While working for an organization that delivers
> > > lunches to elderly
> > > shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on
> > > my afternoon rounds.
> > > The various appliances of old age, particularly the
> > > canes, walkers and
> > > wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I
> > > found her staring at a
> > > pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
> > > myself for the
> > > inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned
> > > and whispered, "The
> > > tooth fairy will never believe this!"
> > >
> > > DRESS-UP
> > > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
> > > party. When she saw
> > > her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you
> > > shouldn't wear that
> > > suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it
> > > always gives you a
> > > headache the next morning."
> > >
> > > SCHOOL
> > > A little girl had just finished her first week of
> > > school. "I'm just
> > > wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't
> > > read, I can't write
> > > and they won't let me talk!"
> > >
> > > BIBLE
> > > A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
> > > fascinated as he
> > > fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something
> > > fell out of the
> > > Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.
> > > What he saw was an old
> > > leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
> > > "Mama, look what I
> > > found", the boy called out." What have you got
> > > there, dear?" With
> > > astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
> > > "I think it's
> > > Adam's underwear!"
> > >
> > > NUDITY
> > > I was driving with my three young children one warm
> > > summer evening when
> > > a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
> > > waved. She was stark
> > > naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
> > > 5-year-old shout from
> > > the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat
> > > belt!
> > >
> > > HONESTY
> > > My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the
> > > bathroom to tell me he'd
> > > dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it
> > > out and threw it in
> > > the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a
> > > moment, then ran to my
> > > bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it
> > > up and said with a
> > > charming little smile, "We better throw this one out
> > > too then, 'cause it
> > > fell in the toilet a few days ago.
> > >
> > > KETCHUP
> > > A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come
> > > out of the jar.
> > > During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
> > > daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the
> > > child said to her
> > > mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the
> > > phone to talk to you
> > > right now. She's hitting the bottle."
> > >
> > > MORE NUDITY
> > > A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
> > > in the women's
> > > locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
> > > into shrieks, with
> > > ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The
> > > little boy watched in
> > > amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't
> > > you ever seen a
> > > little boy before?"
> > >
> > > ELDERLY
> > > While working for an organization that delivers
> > > lunches to elderly
> > > shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on
> > > my afternoon rounds.
> > > The various appliances of old age, particularly the
> > > canes, walkers and
> > > wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I
> > > found her staring at a
> > > pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
> > > myself for the
> > > inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned
> > > and whispered, "The
> > > tooth fairy will never believe this!"
> > >
> > > DRESS-UP
> > > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
> > > party. When she saw
> > > her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you
> > > shouldn't wear that
> > > suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it
> > > always gives you a
> > > headache the next morning."
> > >
> > > SCHOOL
> > > A little girl had just finished her first week of
> > > school. "I'm just
> > > wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't
> > > read, I can't write
> > > and they won't let me talk!"
> > >
> > > BIBLE
> > > A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
> > > fascinated as he
> > > fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something
> > > fell out of the
> > > Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.
> > > What he saw was an old
> > > leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
> > > "Mama, look what I
> > > found", the boy called out." What have you got
> > > there, dear?" With
> > > astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
> > > "I think it's
> > > Adam's underwear!"